What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
