Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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