get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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