Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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