So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
