The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
