im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
