mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
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Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
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she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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