I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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