I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
