I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
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