I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
