did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
