Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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