Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
