He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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