community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Randomize
