I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Ambien. No doubt about it.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
