i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
