he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
