I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
