do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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