I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
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