she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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