ya dads aren't the best wingmen
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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