My brain says no but my pants say off.
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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