If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
Randomize
