I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
