did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
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