Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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