For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
