I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
