literally had 100 drinks last night.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
