yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
