Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
