I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
