What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
