I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
