K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
