Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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