Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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