What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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