I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
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She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
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I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
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