I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
