its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
