were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Randomize
