Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Randomize
