what if every blade of grass was a penis?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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