I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
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