why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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