How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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