If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
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