So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Randomize
