Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
These 25 Drunks Shouldâ€™ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads