Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
I believe in your delicious
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.