Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing