Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
