I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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