Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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