If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
