Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
