i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
