if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
