If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
