Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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