Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
