Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
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